It feels like forever since I’ve had the time to sit and write myself a little post! The last time I was writing was sometime in May and it was my International Day of The Midwife post, which is still half completed but I do plan on posting it soon(ish)!
Truth be told, I have no idea how the past five months have flown by, it’s been a bit of a madden but Alhamdullillah I am back, and I do intend on getting back to sharing some of my world with all you guys.
Sooo quick update
I completed my second year after what seemed like forever! Alhamdullillah
Submitting my work for second year was pretty darn emotional, it’s been a challenging year to say the least, and having faced many setbacks it felt overwhelming to know that I’ve overcome them Alhamdullillah (you’ll be coming across this a whole load because I have so much to be thankful for). I did actually shed tears when handing in my work, it was such a relief knowing I can leave second year behind.
I began my second year telling myself that I will stay organised; I swear this is a universal student thing to do each year! But I was very soon run down with placement, uni, work, being away from my family and it did probably reflect in the way I appeared to many of my friends. The funny thing is I had not realised that I was run down, and truthfully it wasn’t until my friends pointed it out to me that it hit me (everybody needs friends like this). At that time in particular, I was working pretty much every day of the week and trying to fit in half a social life – this wasn’t at all successful, it became pretty apparent that I probably wasn’t coping as well as I thought I was. I think I had forgotten what it felt like to have a lie-in or to just go out and enjoy myself a little, I didn’t even shop for like a couple of months (anyone who knows me knows how I love a good shop)! Plus, I hadn’t seen my family in forever as I just didn’t have the time to go home or even spend time with them if they came to see me. It had been the longest time spent away from them, four months and that was not easy to say the least! The relief after seeing my family was surreal, home cooked meals, plenty of sleep, and just the warmest ambience ever.
I guess what I’ve learned from the past 12 months is that we tend to ignore ourselves in order to fit in everything that is going on around us. We forget to take care of ourselves in this busy fast paced life, we forget to just live and breathe and instead let this world consume us. I for sure was guilty of that and I will openly admit I ran myself to the ground trying to keep on top of everything, ensuring those around me were happy and in the process making an utter shambles of myself, and pretty much neglecting my health and wellbeing.
It was probably one of the times when my passion for midwifery was at an all-time low, and everything seemed pretty much impossible. There have been many times in this past year where I have felt like giving up with Midwifery, with London, questioning myself, not really having the faith in myself that I am able. It really doesn’t help when you’re a complete klutz and have awful spatial awareness (I walk into doors on a daily basis) and you’re on placement and drop something important and yup, it’s them can the ground just swallow me up right now kind of moments. My spatial awareness is improving though, (I promise?).
So what worked particularly well for me?
Well firstly admitting to myself that I actually wasn’t coping with the excessive workload and then just lots of rants down the phone to my momma. I mean LOTS.
Talking is so vital, just getting something off your chest, reflecting with someone over what’s been going on, just discussing anything and everything, it lessens the load for definite (so long as you find someone willing to listen e.g. always momma bear).
What else kept me going, my faith, the belief I hold that everything happens for a reason and that through hardship comes ease was paramount to me getting through this past year. I am so grateful and forever will be. I hold on tightly to my faith as it is what gets me through tough times I guess, knowing Allah has written a special path for me.
When I look back at where I was this time last year, in comparison to where I am now, I can see such a difference. I have grown in so many ways (trying to work on keeping the dress size down, but gal like me likes to eat too many carbs), jokes aside, I feel as though I have grown as a person, I have learned to relax a little more – having some me time, to surround myself with positive energy, to believe in my own abilities, reflect a whole load more, and I guess just going with the flow. Taking each day as it comes and trying not to worry as much as I probably used to, it is still a working progress; but Rome wasn’t built in a day, and in shaa Allah a positive mind set is what I’m aspiring towards.
All in all, Midwifery is my passion, it’s what I want my future to involve in shaa Allah, I want to be the best midwife I can possibly be, I want to be able to empower and support women and their families and I refuse to stop until I get to where I want to be. I will gladly take on all the criticism and the knockbacks and all the difficult days because the biggest lesson I have learned is that everything is a learning curve, every comment, every attitude, every situation, every setback, every person, every day there is something to learn and reflect upon.
Don’t let the words and negatives attitudes of this world bring you down!
I am going to end on one little message because I realise this is quite a lengthy post!
And that is just this little recipe I’m cooking up to get to where I want to be
- Two cups of hard work, mixed with a couple of dollops of perseverance, sieve in a bowl full of a positive attitude and a whole load of faith and of course, someone with a bun in the oven!
That is all for today, in shaa Allah I will be getting back into my blog, I have sooo much more to share!
I hope you guys enjoyed reading this, it’s been so nice to just blog out my feels again.
Thanks me lovies
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